The things that go bump…

One of the pluses of Himindoors’ return to the labour force is that we have been going to bed at a more sensible hour recently, although if we’re honest, that really is only the difference between 2.30am and 1.30am. Such disruption to my sleep patterns, however, has created some bizarre results. Not only have I taken to waking in the night with the urge to get straight up and google stuff, but it has also given me certifiable inclinations to do things like housework on my day off. So, this morning I have cleaned our kitchen worktops to within a millimetre of their lives – something brought about by having watched Food Inspectors last night and been frightened by the dour faced git telling us that our kitchen surfaces were positive death traps. Several things spring to mind regarding this tidying and cleaning malarkey: first, I am sure that like most of you dear readers, tidying comprises little other than moving stuff from one place to another. Indeed in our house it has got to the point where stuff appears now to move itself – as in some sort of object osmosis where those sundry items you have left lying around (mostly because you can’t be arsed finding somewhere to put them) have moved themselves from an area of high clutter to one of lesser clutter. Such ability of Stuff (on which I am now bestowing a capital letter) to migrate caused me a sweary moment during today’s worktop cleaning frenzy, as I stood back proudly to admire my squeaky clean and completely uncluttered worktop, only to turn round and find that all the Stuff had migrated to the worktop behind me that I hadn’t yet cleaned. No prizes for guessing where it all went when I started on that particular surface. The second thing about cleaning is that people tend to go all wrinkle-nosed around you in shops, which leads me to think that Eau de Cilit Bang might not be entirely marketable as a perfume – unless of course there is a very restricted (and quite possibly very dodgy) niche market out there for it.

The nocturnal googling is something else altogether. Going to bed early deprives me of at least an hour’s worth of searching for things (or possibly that should be Things) that have caught my eye and vaguely interested me. Last night’s 3am search was for a term I’d semi-consciously heard while dozing off in front of the 6 o’clock news.

So for the record, pelagic fish are those one which live near the surface of coastal, ocean or lake waters. NEVER confuse them with demersal fish which are, titteringly, bottom dwellers – a concept which I remember a colleague at the RSPB trying to explain to two spotty teenage work experience schoolboys who sniggered the whole way through her explanation, and consequently earned themselves the nicknames Beavis and Butthead for the rest of their spell with us.

The things that go bump in your mind in the night.

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Tempus fugits like they say

Goodness it’s been a while – how very negligent of me. Now, where to start? Probably it would be best NOT to try and recount everything that’s happened post at a time, so here’s the whistlestop tour:

Me: had a wee encounter with a scalpel-wielding scourgeon in mid-December (2011 – I’m not THAT far behind!) Without going into the fine details it was a lady op that in hindsight I should have had ages ago as in one swell foop it removed so many problems along with a certain unused but bothersome part of my inner anatomy. And for once I was one of the lucky ones and experienced no pain – to the extent that I flagged it up as my only worry at my 6-week checkup as I’d read stories of women suffering for months on end afterwards. I was back up and walking (slowly at first of course) after a week and my maiden (inappropriate given that they’d just wheeched my maiden bits out) voyage took the form of two laps of Forrest Furnishings boxing day sale. Back on track now five months later but still with a bit swollen a belly. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it anyway.

Bonsai: British Shohin Association show went well and I got a Certificate of Merit for my display. Excellent

Bikes: loads of stuff to tell so over this week I will get sorted with the highlights.

Promise.

Tempus fugiting all over the place

Well it seems I’ve done it again: nearly 6 weeks and not a single post. There is, of course, the possibility that I’ve not actually done anything worth talking about in that time, but I’d prefer to think it was just that I’ve been doing so much I haven’t had time. The end of another academic year draws near and I am gradually getting to the bottom of the mountain of marking that characterises this season. Now that would be fine but a significant part of it is that I have been inundated with students who have so far been invisible but who have obviously poured a large bucket of lemon juice over themselves or stood close enough to a direct heat source to render themselves visible again. Or at tlesat visible long enough to realise and deal with the minor issue that failure to hand in submissions will result in their bursaries being whacked off. And oh how I wish that were a euphemism!

Anyway, I have not been bereft of activities bicycling and/or bonsai: I have undertaken my first sportive of the year – a 43-mile jaunt round the scenery of Perth and Kinross. In the rain of course. An encounter with the surgeon precluded me from the Etape Caledonia. That’s the second year in a row a medical issue has caused this – here’s hoping it’s third time lucky next year.

Right, that’s us up to date. With any luck I’ll remember to keep it so.