Lochwinnoch Lesbians and Amorous Amphibians

Well, here’s a little thing: I have been perusing the stats for the past week and am totally appalled to note that the main hits on the site came through people searching for… no, not nice wee birdies or record shattering exploits on a road bike. Not even for artistic and meritorious bonsai, but for BABES! Apparently the title I used on a post some months ago of Braveheart Babes means that this is the main page hit on (and how appropriate might that expression be!). The more boring and unimaginative of the perverts searching for things way out of their league just typed in “babes”. But the search data also yielded that someone had sought (but most certainly NOT found, at least not here) Lochwinnoch Lesbians!!! I ask you! So, you perverts out there, eff off and go flash the contents of your mac at someone else’s blog. God knows there’s enough of ’em out there (porn blogs that is, not pervs, although there’s no doubt legion of those too!). You are compromising the artistic nature of this site. May your next crap be a porcupine!

And so to my genteel, douce and dacent offerings: birdie-wise, nothing really to report this week. The bullfinch has been conspicuous only by its absence and while I’ve seen the smew at Lochwinnoch regularly, I don’t take the camera down when I’m working so haven’t had a chance to take its piccie. Might remedy that tomorrow, although the plan is to commute by bike now that we have some semblance of decent weather forecast, so I don’t know how much I can squeeze into one back-pack and still stay balanced on the bike. Fauna in the garden includes the fox (evident by the little presents it leaves behind combined with a pervading odour of fox pee) and the frogs in the pond. Sadly the harsh winter has taken its toll and we had to remove a couple of dead ones today. However, while I was doing some pond clearing, I noticed at least two others swimming or hopping about. It’ll soon be that time when the night air ir redolent with the sound not of shadenfreude but shaggenfrogs. What a racket they make! Last year there was a positive orgy going on out there every night. Oh shit!!! I’ve just given the pervs another search cue there. Next week’s stats’ll show a frenzy of hits on “orgy”.

Did some routine bonsai tidying up today. Later in the week I’ll be dismantling and cleaning the benches (excitement abounds!) and if the weather does as predicted, I can start thinking about some repotting.

But, keeping the best ’til last: as promised last time, I can now formally announce that I clocked up my first 1000 miles of 2010 on the bicycle. And I did it on a real road with traffic, hazards and hills an’ all! It’s a pity so much of the 1K has had to be done on the trainer but who’d have predicted almost 12 weeks of snow, ice and snow and ice? I am under no illusions about the capacity of the trainer to recreate “real road” conditions, but it had been a good enough way of getting a fitness level up. My breathing has improved as has my pedalling ability and cadence. Speeds are, I will happily admit, totally misleading, but I have noticed that my average speed of late on the road has been higher than when I first started. I also admit to being still fairly wary of the cleats on the road. The main reason is that I am not really used to road riding and the cleats just add another thing to worry about. Added to that is the fact that my riding currently is all solo stuff and I am very aware that it is me against the various hazards. I would probably feel a lot better about the cleats if I had the security of riding with others in a group (if that makes any sense to you) and that thought has made me doubly determined to get across to Walkers and join the group rides. Not sure about the Johnstone Wheelers. It’s local and it makes more sense to go there rather than make a 20 minute car journey, but Walkers seem a lot friendlier plus there are other women riders. We’ll see. Mebbe there’s scope for both. In the meantime I will be trying to get out on to the road as often as possible to build up confidence and traffic savvy. I hope the next 1000miles shows a significant swing towards outdoor miles rather than trainer miles. Only the weather deities can control that one! Saddle up!

1000 miles! And on the right (as in correct) side of the road!

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